In mid-November, 1995, to make life bearable during a ten-month earthquake retrofit construction project designed to keep the damaged Natural Sciences II building (on the UCSC campus) from collapsing during the next earthquake, the entire Physics and Astronomy Boards of Study (now known as “Departments”) were moved to space in Kerr Hall. Shortly after we moved, this email was sent to all building occupants:
“For the occupants of Kerr Hall: [The Associate Chancellor] (whose office is located on the third floor) is requesting that Kerr Hall occupants refrain from bringing bicycles into the building. This request is made in accordance to a campus policy designed to minimize building wear and tear and reduce the amount of mud and dirt tracked onto carpets and floors.”
Additional memos mentioned possible damage to walls and ceilings. Since many of us had been parking our bikes in our offices in Nat Sci II since its creation, with no complaints ever lodged by anyone, there naturally followed a sequence of angry emails.
This song grew out of that experience, and its lyrics mysteriously appeared on the wall of the Kerr Hall lobby. Subsequent discussion resulted in a policy change that allowed Kerr Hall occupants to park bicycles in their offices, and this year (over 12 years later), a campus-wide policy that may actually encourage such behavior is working its way through the upper echelons.
The song is also set to the tune of The Wreck of the Old 97. A sound file is here, and a pdf version, with these lyrics and a score, may be found here.
– Peter Scott
April, 2008
We had moved into the building, 'twas the month of November, Just before Thanksgiving Day, When word came down from the Associate Chancellor— Here's what he had to say:
Yes, word came down from the Associate Chancellor— Here's what he had to say:
Don't get mud on the carpet, don't leave crud in the hallways, Don't punch holes in the sheetrock walls. So please refrain from bringing your bicycles Into the building at all.
Yes, please refrain from bringing your bicycles Into the building at all.
But the very next morning, we rode up to the campus, High above Monterey Bay, And we wheeled our bicycles right into the building On that stormy and fateful day.
Yes, we wheeled our bicycles right into that building On that stormy and fateful day.
We got mud on the carpet, we left crud in the hallways, We punched holes in the sheetrock walls. We refused to refrain from bringing our bicycles Into the building at all.
Yes, we refused to refrain from bringing our bicycles Into the building at all.
So they called the police, and we were all arrested; We were hauled off to the jail. And what's more, they confiscated our bicycles, And planned a bicycle sale.
Yes, what's more, they confiscated our bicycles, And planned a bicycle sale.
We'd got mud on the carpet, we'd left crud in the hallways, We'd punched holes in the sheetrock walls; We had refused to refrain from bringing our bicycles Into the building at all.
Yes, we'd refused to refrain from bringing our bicycles Into the building at all.
So we all got cars, and we drove up to the campus, High above Monterey Bay— We drove into the building, and we parked in our offices, And here's what we had to say:
Yes, we drove into the building, and we parked in our offices, And here's what we had to say:
There was grease on the carpet, there were skid marks down the hallways And soon there were no sheetrock walls. It seemed acceptable behavior to drive into the building; No-one minded at all.
Yes, 'twas acceptable behavior to drive into the building, No-one minded at all.
'Til the Associate Chancellor came to view the situation— On his face was a look of dismay. He said, “we'll give you back your bikes, we'll put bike-hooks in your offices, And here's what we'll do today:”
Yes, “we'll give you back your bikes, we'll put bike-hooks in your offices, And here's what we'll do today:”
“We'll clean up the carpets, we'll scrub down the hallways, We'll replace those sheetrock walls— And we'll all ride our bicycles up to the campus, There is no need to worry at all.”
“Yes, we'll all ride our bicycles up to the campus, There is no need to worry at all.”